The Bittersweet Day

Yesterday was a really tough day for me.  Fifteen years ago, my Grandaddy went to be with Jesus.  It's as if whenever March 6th comes around my subconscious just knows and I woke up crying before I even fully knew what day it was or what was happening.  Grandaddy was the first person I lost that I was especially close with.   I can remember that day like it just happened, yet it seems like an eternity since I have seen him.  I like to think about the special memories I have of him.  I thought about how he gave everyone a nickname.  I was his first grandchild and he called me Little Pretty.  He didn't always use it, especially as I got older, but I remember that every once in a while as a teenager he'd surprise me and call me that.  When I was little we used to sit out on their front porch swing and he'd just sit and listen to me talk.  I had a captive audience and boy did I ever talk!  (I'm remembering now that perhaps it isn't so unusual that Princess never stops talking!)  My Grandaddy wasn't perfect, but he loved his family and he always made sure we were all taken care of.  I am so blessed to have so many wonderful memories of him.  I am blessed to have grown up only a mile away and I spent many hours at their house.  Whenever I want to feel close to him I watch my DVD's of Hail Columbia or The Dream is Alive, two IMAX movies about the Space Shuttle program and you can see him in both of them, working in the Vehicle Assembly Building.  Sometimes I go to the cemetery and sit on his grave and smoke a cigar.  That's where I went yesterday morning.  The smell of the cigar takes me back and I remember getting in trouble as a small child when I would sit in his chair and pretend to puff on his cigars.  It's a comfort.  I know he isn't there, but it's a physical place I can go and sit quietly with my thoughts. 

This is a picture of me (left), my Grandaddy, and my sister (right) at our house.  I was showing him my Strawberry Shortcake watch.

March 6th is a bittersweet day for me because while I felt most of the day like I had been punched in the gut, it is also my half-birthday and Hubby always tries to make it special for me.  Yesterday he and the kids got me cards and a little gift and then took me to lunch and out shopping for a distraction.  It was a nice outing and I loved having the time with my family.  It puts the day in perspective to help me remember that while I can be sad and miss my Grandaddy, I also need to remember how incredibly blessed I am to have Hubby and my precious children and to live each moment with them to the fullest.