Mother's Day Montage Part 2

I have mentioned before that the twins were born 7 weeks early and the circumstances of their birth were quite difficult.  They were sent to a NICU an hour and a half away and the day after they were born, my kidneys and liver started to shut down.  I remember very clearly the conversation with Hubby after my doctor left the room from telling us I was moving to ICU.  Hubby sat with me on the bed and held my hands.  We weren't sure what the prognosis was going to be, it all depended on how my body responded to the meds, but at this point, things didn't look good.  I explained to Hubby that I wasn't scared, just disappointed.  I was disappointed at the thought of finally having these babies, finally being a Mommy, something I had wanted my entire, and now I might not live to see them grow.  In those moments, I told Hubby that I knew he'd be a great Daddy and raise our children well and that I wanted for him to find a good mom for our kids.  Those were hard words, because I wanted to be the only mom they would know, but I also knew that there was a possibility that they wouldn't know or remember anything about me. 

Just a few months before their second birthday, I was faced with this reality again when my Crohn's doctors told me that if I didn't have surgery I would die within a month.  Recovery from this surgery was tough and I had two busy little toddlers and a Hubby who was with me every step of the way, but that also meant that he couldn't be with me and the babies at the same time.  My mom and my sister took over as the twins' caretakers ~ their second mothers ~ and I couldn't think of anyone better for the job. 

This Mother's Day, all of those thoughts have been swirling around in my head.  I feel a little bit cheated because there are so many things I wasn't able to be a part of when it comes to seeing my babies grow and do things, but I also know that I am blessed to even be here.  Blessed that God chose for me to be their mommy.  Blessed that I have a mommy and a sister who could stand in the gap when I couldn't be there for my own babies.  Mother's Day means so much more because I'm here, loving on my babies, watching them grow into these beautiful people and it's only by God's grace that they are.  When I hear the things they say and see how they are growing in their faith, I wish I could take credit for that.  That's all God.  I can be here to answer their questions and help guide, but it is the Holy Spirit living in them that has made them who they are.  I can't imagine my life without these two blessings, and I am so glad that God saw it fit to heal my body so that I could be a part of this:

Thank you God for dirty fingerprints on my walls, spilt milk at the table, messy bedrooms, a trail of clothes down the hall, morning snuggles, a thousand questions asked each day, hugs around my middle, belly laughs, and goodnight prayers.  Through it all, I am blessed.

Happy Mother's Day, all!  I want to especially thank my own Mom, Mema, and Sister for being women I admire so much.  You three have been there to help nurture, love, and change dirty diapers when I couldn't and words can't express how glad I am that my babies have you, that I have you.  I love you dearly and thank God for you in my life!

Thursday Thoughts

I woke up at 4:00 this morning with lots of thoughts swirling around in my head.  Most of them had to do with things I needed to get done at work today, but I also have a long list of things to do at home, and then there are the things that I want to do for myself and can never find the time to do.  So here's a list of Thursday Thoughts:

1.  Happy Anniversary to my Mom and Dad! or Happy in-the-nursery as I used to say when I was little
They have been married for 38 years.  That's a long time, but I guess time flies when you're having fun.

Speaking of which, in staff meeting yesterday, Pastor told about a lady he met in the hospital who was in her 90's.  Her husband is 101 and they've been married over 70 years.  Now that's a long time!

2.  I folded and put away A LOT of clothes today.  There are still lots more that need to be done but it won't be tonight.  I think we have too many clothes at our house.  Actually, I would be in favor of disposable clothes.  Then I wouldn't have to do laundry.  Of course that isn't a very "green" way to think now, is it?!  Oh well, just a thought.

3.  Speaking of laundry, I really need to clean out my dresser drawers.  Does anyone else have this problem?  I have many single socks that I'm not sure where the matches ever went, but they haven't been seen for quite some time.  I think the sock monster must have eaten them.  My sock drawer only scratches the surface but it's a good start.  I won't even tell you about the purses in my closet that need to be gone through.

4.  I got a lot of things marked off my to do list at work today.  Do you ever make lists just so you can cross things off?  Like you know what you need to do and maybe you've even done a couple of the things on your list but you still put them on there so you can feel all accomplished when you see how many things you have actually crossed off.  Just sayin' it's a good feeling.

5.  I hope my kids are ready for their spelling tests tomorrow. Princess is having a little trouble remembering how to spell "eight." Such a hard word for kindergarten. They are all number words this week: five, six, seven, eight, nine. Seven and eight are tripping her up. I've been trying to make up little cheerleading chants to help her remember how to spell her words. She tells me I don't make a good cheerleader. Woo girl is right and she's definitely cooler than me. BUT at least I know how to get her to remember her spelling words, even if I'm not a woo girl like her.



6.  I'm so glad tomorrow is Friday.  These 5 day work weeks just about kill ya.


7.  Do you ever get in a cranky mood for no apparent reason and you wish you could have an out of body experience to get away from yourself but you can't?  Me neither.  I don't feel like that tonight at all.  Just wondering if you ever do.

 
E-I-G-H-T. (I think I've been practicing spelling words too long tonight)   Perhaps a hot bubble bath and a glass of wine will help to cure the grumpies.  I mean, not that I'm grumpy or anything but if I were, I might try that and see if I feel better. 

Good night!  I'm off to fill up the tub!