Thursday, September 1, 2011

Secure Daughters, Confident Sons ~ A Book Review

"So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them." ~ Genesis 1:27
Secure Daughters Confident Sons by Glenn T. Stanton provides a framework for thinking about the masculine and feminine traits in your own children and how we as parents nurture those qualities affects the men and women our children become.  This book was divided into two parts. 

Part 1: A Clear Vision for Authentic Manhood and Womanhood - How to Help Your Kids Get There, discusses qualities of what makes a good man or a good woman.  Stanton notes that while we don't all exhibit male and female qualities in the same ways, there are distinct male qualities and distinct female qualities.  It is helpful to know what these qualities are which define us as male and female.  In Chapter 1, What Makes a Good Man, Stanton says, "As parents, we need to realize that our boys need help, encouragement, and guidance to the inevitable road to male adulthood so they become authentic, healthy, vibrant, virtuous, and wise males in their
  • exploration
  • deliver the goods
  • moving to the next thing
  • opportunism
  • chance taking
  • initiative
  • activity
  • competition and dominance    (these were all the qualities he discussed in the chapter.)
Your job as a parent is to raise your boy to be the man he was created to be."
In Chapter 2, What Makes a Good Woman, Stanton says, "our girls, and the women they become, are more likely to:
  • be confidently enticing
  • value intimacy over action
  • be receptive
  • seek security
  • be modest
  • be caring
  • relate with words
  • seek equity and submission
  • wield soft power that shapes humanity
  • connect to others
As the parent of a daughter, your job is to pay close attention to the kind of girl God has given you and raise her toward womanhood with the qualities we've discussed.  Of course, you'll need to consider which of these qualities you need to nurture or temper, realizing these either are or are not a strong part of your own daughter's makeup."

Stanton follows these chapters with What Boys and Girls Need Most and The Journey to Manhood and Metamorphosis to Womanhood. 

In Part 2: Why Boys and Girls Need Mothers and Fathers, Stanton discusses the obvious differences in how mothers and fathers parent and why these differences are important in nurturing our children and encouraging growth in other areas as well.  Moms and dads play differently with their children and they connect differently because of the the qualities that make them who they are.  Both roles are integral in raising children to be the people God designed them to be.

Throughout the book there are question and answer sections that describe real discussions parents may have about how to best parent their children.  I really took some time with this book and enjoyed reading it.  There were many things that I already knew or had heard elsewhere, but to have it all put together in this way was helpful.  It is a good resource for parents in helping them understand gender differences and to help put into focus that our ultimate goal is to grow well-adjusted men and women who fulfill the roles God has planned for each of them.  Stanton is quick to point out that this isn't about stereotyping one role or another, or conforming to arbitrary cultural rules, but in nurturing those gender qualities that God has given girls and boys so that they may be secure in their masculinity and femininity  so that they may make a difference in the world. 

I received this book free from Waterbrook Multnomah. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255


  1. Thanks for the review. This sounds like a book I would LOVE! I'm always intrigued by gender differences, and to have a book relating those to God's divine plan sounds great.

  2. I do think you would like it then. I found it really interesting and have it on my bookshelf in my office to go back to later.

  3. Great reviw in fact, I'm going to get a copy for personal with my boys and professional use. I think it will be great info to tie in with the gender class I teach.