A horrible, nasty stomach bug came to visit our house just in time for the weekend. Late in the night Friday night, Prince got sick in bed. Hubby slept through most of it, although he did wake up just in time for me to finish getting everything cleaned up. (How convenient for him ~ he honestly did sleep through it though) Poor Prince, I can't tell you when the last time he had a stomach bug was, but I'm pretty sure it's been a couple of years. He just doesn't get that kind of sick very often. Prince and I were up most of the night together. I think the only hour on the clock I didn't see was 4 and believe me, I thanked God for that small blessing of getting at least an hour and a half of straight sleep. Saturday night was uneventful and we thought we were out of the woods until Sunday morning early when Prince was again sick. Princess got it Sunday night and Hubby got it Monday morning. I've had a grand time spraying Lysol on everything, keeping up with dirty laundry and dishes, and doing it all myself. Let's just say that this Mama is tired.
This morning I may or may not have snapped back at Hubby when he grumped at me. I also may or may not have started feeling a bit resentful that I've been single-handedly taking care of all of this sickness while everyone else was getting the rest they needed and being waited on hand and foot. I may have gotten a bit agitated when Princess said she couldn't find socks this morning that were right in her drawer, matched up and ready to go. Yes, it was one of those mornings. Yet as I was rushing to get myself ready after making sure everyone had what they needed, the Holy Spirit spoke to me. I'm not sure where it came from, except for His prompting, but I started to sing "Change my heart oh God, make it ever true. Change my heart oh God, may I be like you." As I sang, I started to calm down a little, but felt this small voice inside of me saying, "You aren't really feeling it, keep singing." So I did, again and again. I sang it as I drove the kids to school and on my way to work.
I began to think about how this is the life I always wanted ~ the life I chose. I always wanted to be a wife and a mommy and to take care of my family. In sickness and in health isn't always easy. In fact, I think that one is harder than for richer or poorer. The point is, when you think and dream about having a family of your own, it seems wonderful and magical and everything will be like the Cleavers. But life is messy and reality sets in and I realize that this is exactly what I signed up for. I also realize that the change must come from my own heart. I am grateful that my Hubby is involved and helps me with the kids when he gets home from work. On these difficult days, it seems even more difficult because I am used to having help. I am thankful for the help he does offer because doing this alone day in and day out would get really old. I am thankful that Hubby comes home to me at night and that he likes being with us, thankful that I can create a home environment where he's comfortable. I am thankful for those snuggles on the couch when the Prince and Princess are feeling bad, thankful that I am the one they want and that I can be their mommy. That is what makes it worth it all.
You've probably figured out by now that God uses music to speak to me ~ a lot. When I hear a song I remember it and can usually retrieve its message in my brain for years to come. Here's a good one that also came to mind this morning.