This Is The Stuff

A horrible, nasty stomach bug came to visit our house just in time for the weekend.  Late in the night Friday night, Prince got sick in bed.  Hubby slept through most of it, although he did wake up just in time for me to finish getting everything cleaned up.  (How convenient for him ~ he honestly did sleep through it though)  Poor Prince, I can't tell you when the last time he had a stomach bug was, but I'm pretty sure it's been a couple of years.  He just doesn't get that kind of sick very often.  Prince and I were up most of the night together.  I think the only hour on the clock I didn't see was 4 and believe me, I thanked God for that small blessing of getting at least an hour and a half of straight sleep.  Saturday night was uneventful and we thought we were out of the woods until Sunday morning early when Prince was again sick.  Princess got it Sunday night and Hubby got it Monday morning.  I've had a grand time spraying Lysol on everything, keeping up with dirty laundry and dishes, and doing it all myself.  Let's just say that this Mama is tired. 

This morning I may or may not have snapped back at Hubby when he grumped at me.  I also may or may not have started feeling a bit resentful that I've been single-handedly taking care of all of this sickness while everyone else was getting the rest they needed and being waited on hand and foot.  I may have gotten a bit agitated when Princess said she couldn't find socks this morning that were right in her drawer, matched up and ready to go.  Yes, it was one of those mornings.  Yet as I was rushing to get myself ready after making sure everyone had what they needed, the Holy Spirit spoke to me.  I'm not sure where it came from, except for His prompting, but I started to sing "Change my heart oh God, make it ever true.  Change my heart oh God, may I be like you."  As I sang, I started to calm down a little, but felt this small voice inside of me saying, "You aren't really feeling it, keep singing."  So I did, again and again.  I sang it as I drove the kids to school and on my way to work.  

I began to think about how this is the life I always wanted ~ the life I chose.  I always wanted to be a wife and a mommy and to take care of my family.  In sickness and in health isn't always easy.  In fact, I think that one is harder than for richer or poorer.  The point is, when you think and dream about having a family of your own, it seems wonderful and magical and everything will be like the Cleavers.  But life is messy and reality sets in and I realize that this is exactly what I signed up for.  I also realize that the change must come from my own heart.  I am grateful that my Hubby is involved and helps me with the kids when he gets home from work.  On these difficult days, it seems even more difficult because I am used to having help.  I am thankful for the help he does offer because doing this alone day in and day out would get really old.  I am thankful that Hubby comes home to me at night and that he likes being with us, thankful that I can create a home environment where he's comfortable.  I am thankful for those snuggles on the couch when the Prince and Princess are feeling bad, thankful that I am the one they want and that I can be their mommy.  That is what makes it worth it all.   

You've probably figured out by now that God uses music to speak to me ~ a lot.  When I hear a song I remember it and can usually retrieve its message in my brain for years to come.  Here's a good one that also came to mind this morning.

Laboring through Labor Day Weekend

This weekend we took a trip to the in-laws.  The in-laws live in the middle of no-wheresville and have lots of land.  My father-in-law loves to grow stuff on this land and we are recruited to come and visit  provide manual labor when it is time to harvest.  Friday night we drove the 4 hours up to no-wheresville and didn't get in until 11:00.  Saturday morning we were up and working by 8:00.  This weekend's task: picking off peanuts, boiling the peanuts and bagging the peanuts to be frozen.

If you've never seen how peanuts grow, they grow under the ground.  Here is a pile of peanut plants that my darling Hubby pulled up and stacked for me to pick off.

Here are Prince and his cousin, picking off peanuts.

Princess is proud of the peanuts she picked off the vines.

After we picked the peanuts off, they were rinsed in buckets and then put in big pots to be boiled. 

I had a very important job in between picking the peanuts.  My father-in-law assigned me the duty of tasting the peanuts to see if they were done.  So every so often I had to pull myself away from my pile of peanut plants and do the quality taste testing.  This was really a tough job, but somebody had to do it.  After the peanuts were done to my satisfaction, we drained them and I put them in ziploc bags to put up in the freezer.  At the end of the day we had picked, boiled and bagged 71 gallons of boiled peanuts.  We were so exhausted, but the peanuts are so delicious!  In fact, when we got home last night I wanted boiled peanuts for dinner last night. 

This morning Hubby took me to the beach.  We sat out on the beach and relaxed while we watched the kids play in the sand.  I didn't let them in the water for all of the jellyfish that were stinging people left and right.  It was a mostly peaceful time at the beach.

There's nothing like the feeling of sand between my toes.  Ahhhh!

For our family, Labor Day weekend is usually when we celebrate the fact that my mom quite literally was in labor...with me.  36 years ago tomorrow, I made my entrance into this world. 

This afternoon my mom and dad made steak fajitas (my request) for my birthday dinner.  My mom made a delicious homemade carrot cake and we taught my sister and brother-in-law how to play our new favorite game, The Settlers of Catan.  We are addicted and my mom asks probably once a week when we can come over to their house to play Catan.  If you've never played it and you like strategy games, you'll love this one!  Hubby bought me the American History Trails to Rails game but we haven't had a chance to play that one yet.

So it's been a busy, but fun weekend and I am feeling incredibly blessed.  Given all I've been through with my health, I count each candle on my cake as a gift from God.  I serve a great God and I am so thankful for what He has done in my life.  When I was in ICU after the babies were born, my dear friend and prayer partner said that when she was praying for me God gave her a verse for me.  It is from Psalm 91 and while she gave me the whole chapter, she said the part that really struck her was verses 14-16:

"'Because he loves me,' says the Lord, 'I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.  He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.  With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation.'"

I'm counting on that long life that God has promised me.  I know that God keeps His promises and I hope that when I do go to heaven and bow before Him, God will say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." 

Healing Hurting Hearts

It's been weeks a month since my last post and I can hardly believe all that's been going on.  It's been such a busy time of finishing up summer and starting school and finally I feel like I am in some sort of routine.  In all of this, God has been faithful in providing what we've needed.  Prince and Princess have started first grade and they are in different classes this year.  Mommy has been more nervous about this than they seem to be.  All is going well and they have adjusted.  Mostly.  There have been a few hiccups, but they are happy and except for all of the homework and getting up and going in the morning they are glad to be back in school.  I began praying back in April that God would give each of my children the right teacher they needed for this school year and He is faithful.  I truly believe He did that, thus they are blooming where they're planted. 

One of the things I've been aware of lately is the needs of others and how so many are hurting around me.  Just last week I prayed with a mother in my office who was at the end of her rope with many circumstances out of her control.  There is a child from the same school as my own kiddos who has leukemia and is undergoing treatments.  We have had several deaths in our church family.  Lay-offs from the Space Center are leaving families in a tough situation and as prepared as they thought they were, there are no jobs to be found.  My sweet cousin had bleeding on her brain and had to leave college to have surgery to stop the bleeding.  Thank you Jesus she is on the road to recovery.  Another sweet girl I know had her baby at 31 weeks due to complications with her blood pressure and her sweet baby boy is in the NICU.  There are so many needs around me and at times I just feel overwhelmed.  I have been praying day and night and I know that God hears those prayers and that His love never fails.  As it is right now my prayer list is a mile long and I begin as soon as I wake up in the morning and pray throughout the day for all of those needs.  My heart aches for all of those that are hurting and I have known what that hurt feels like when loved ones are sick or die or to have your sweet baby in the NICU and be so out of control or to have illness come on yourself.  I have lived through all of that and I think that I big part of that is that I can now empathize with others in the same situation and see them through a different lens.  I also know that God always keeps His promises and that He never leaves us.  As all of this has come into my life, I have also discovered a new favorite song, which has come to mean a great deal to me. 


We never know exactly what God has planned for our lives.  We don't know what those trials will mean for us, but what if His healing comes through tears and we discover that the failures of this world serve to remind us that this isn't our home?  I am so thankful for all God has done in my life.  There is a reason he spared my life not once, but twice and I know that I still have work to do for Him.  No matter the circumstance, God has a plan and I have learned that it is much better than anything I could ever dream up. 

Manic Monday or Blessed Beginning of the Week?

I am sick.  I can't breathe out of my nose, I can't taste anything and I feel blah.  It's been gloomy and rainy looking all day.  It's just what you'd call a Monday or maybe Moanday.  UGHHHH!  So in order to make myself feel better about this yucky Monday, I started to think of all of the things that are going right in my life.  Let's make a list, shall we?

1.  I have two little people that depend on me to nurture, love, and give them what they need.  Even when I mess up, they love me unconditionally.

2.  Hubby works hard to provide for our family so that I don't have to work full-time and can spend time with my favorite little people.

3.  Hubby supports my call to be in ministry and will do whatever God calls us to do.

4.  I went to the grocery store today and got lots of good bargains.  I got $187 worth of groceries for $83 after coupons and sales.  Our kitchen is stocked with lots of healthy (and a little not so healthy) food that will nourish our bodies.

5.  Hubby helped me clean house yesterday afternoon.  He is such a blessing!  It feels good to sit in our nice clean house.

6.  Hubby finally took down his Star Trek Christmas tree yesterday.  This is something that I can't do because I'm not supposed to touch it.  I finally told him that it either comes down before Valentine's Day or I'm taking it down.  That did the trick.

7.  I finally put our nativity scene away yesterday afternoon.  Those were the lingering remnants of Christmas.  For some reason, this year I just didn't want to put it away.   I wanted to look at baby Jesus a little bit longer.  Prince kept picking up the baby Jesus and turning him over and laughing while saying, "I see Jesus' hiney."  That is so wrong.  Anyway, it's all put away now.

8.  I am able to function.  For several years there were days and even weeks when all I could do was lay in bed in pain.  I had to have people help care for my babies and me while Hubby went to work.  It was no fun.  So when I get sick with something minor like a sinus infection, I am thankful that I am able to do for myself and my family. 

9.  My home is safe and warm and I don't want for anything.  I had a hot shower and it felt so good!

10.  There's a God who made me and loves me and blesses me every day beyond what I could ever imagine.  He blesses me in spite of myself and all of my shortcomings.  I could never earn or deserve what He has done for me, but it's because of His grace and mercy that I am blessed.

See how the sun in peeking through those dark clouds?  It reminds me of how God can shine in our lives during those yucky days, if only we will look for Him.  He's in the little things and the big things.  He's in every aspect of our lives.  I love it when my kids see the sun peeking through clouds like this.  They say, "Look Mommy, God is smiling down on us!"  What an awesome thought. 
So now I'll concentrate on feeling incredibly blessed for what I do have, not for what I lack and instead of singing "Just another manic Monday" I'll be singing "I'm trading my sickness, I'm trading my pain, I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord."

It' Been One of Those Weeks

It's been one of those weeks...
1.  Hubby has pneumonia.  He has been home from work all week, between the bed and the couch.  I've been waiting on him and trying to nurse him back to health.  It's times like this that I realize how great of a team we are because...
2.  I have had to do baths, homework, bedtime routine by myself all week.  This gets really hectic, as you can imagine.  He usually helps me with this so we can get it all done quicker and since we have our routine down, it's a lot easier.  I don't know how single parents do this by themselves.
3.  I have been exhausted after putting the kids to bed (even more than usual) because of the above.
4.  I couldn't get my scanner at my office to work right so I brought home my lesson for Family Chapel and scanned it at home.  I thought I had it all scanned right here, but when I got to work the day I needed them, all of the pictures were not there.  So I had to wing it.  I don't like having to wing it when I'm speaking in front of a group.
5.  It poured rain all day today.
6.  Princess cried when I dropped her off at school this morning because she was nervous about her spelling test.  I prayed with her outside of her classroom, but still felt bad leaving her.
7.  The twins and I stepped in ankle deep water on the way in to their karate lesson.
8.  When we got home from karate, Hubby informed me that he had been called with a work issue and has spent most of the evening on the phone trying to get more information. 

Yep, it's been one of those weeks.  Nothing has gone according to plan.  I don't like it when things don't go according to plan.  I could have let this really get me down and I might have if I'd have wallowed in it and felt sorry for myself.  However, that isn't what happened.  This week I have been happy, lighthearted even.  As I was driving down the road in the rain, singing by myself this afternoon, I realized that all of these things that would have normally had me in a rotten mood weren't bothering me.  Want to know why?  I did.  I stopped to think about what the difference was and I figured it out.  My heart has been in a spirit of worship this week.  I have been thinking of all that I have to be thankful for.  I have been listening to and singing praise music.  My prayers have been ones of praise, what an awesome and mighty God we serve.  The focus hasn't been on me, but on Him.  It isn't about me or anything I could ever do, but about Him, Who He is and what He's done.  It's funny how my perspective changes when I'm not focused on me. 

It reminds me of when Jesus walked on the water.  He called Peter out of the boat and at first Peter's eyes were on Jesus and he was doing just fine, but the minute Peter took his eyes off of Jesus, he began to sink.  It's like we don't always trust that God's got it all under control. 

I have also thought about the movie "Facing the Giants." Sometimes it's just a matter of my attitude.  I love the part in the movie when the coach says, "If we win, we're gonna praise Him.  If we lose, we're still gonna praise Him."  In life, sometimes we win and sometimes we feel like we are losing, but if we praise Him regardless of our circumstances, He can change our hearts and our minds and help us to realize that the little inconveniences or roadblocks we face in life are just that ~ small things in the scheme of life.

So tonight as I sit and watch a movie with Prince and Princess, I choose to be happy.  I am happy that Hubby has been able to finish his work and join us, happy that I am safe in my home with the people I love the most.  I can see God shining His light on me from behind the dark clouds and I'll praise Him, the God that has blessed me beyond measure. 

Big God, Big Blessings

We serve a  big God.  There are so many reminders each day of how amazing He is, if only we will take them in.  I want to share a few of the reminders I have noticed in the last few days.

God made this beautiful beach.  The waves are so powerful and big yet...

He also made these delicate shells and He knows how many grains of sand are on this beach.

God made Prince's feet that are growing bigger by the day.  They started out as tiny little baby feet and look at them now!  These feet carry Jesus with him wherever he goes. 

God gave me not one, but TWO miracle children to love and to teach them about God's love for all of us.  I still can't fully understand God's love for us, but having children has brought me closer to that idea of unconditional love.

Speaking of unconditional love, God has given me a soul mate to share this life with me.  He's my partner in crime and my partner in life.  I know how much he loves me because every year on Black Friday he braves the stores and the maddening crowds "just for the fun of it" with me.  This relationship is truly a gift from God, He ordained it years ago and He knew even before I did, who my sweet Hubby would be.

My sweet sister.  God gave me this sister to grow up and old with.  We are forever connected with a bond that has so connected our hearts and lives, we often know when one is hurting, even though we aren't together.  We've always been that way.  The truth of the matter is that at times we drive each other totally insane, mostly because we have such different personalities.  But there is no relationship like that of a sister.  You can be at odds one minute, but then if you need her, she's right there cheering you on.  My sister is one of the most loyal and giving people I know.  I'm so glad God gave me a sister.  Look at Sweet Cheeks, sitting on her lap.  How can you not know that God made those precious, kissable cheeks?!

Last night we went to the final roll out of Space Shuttle Discovery.  It was awesome.  Yes, I am quite aware that this machine was made by man, but I can't help but be awestruck when I think that it takes man into space to see the amazingly intricate universe God created. 

It is so tempting to get caught up in the hectic, busy day and not pay attention to my surroundings.  To really look, and appreciate those people and things that God has placed in my life because He loves me.  But when I look around and see it, really notice the people and things He has done for me, I am amazed.  I am amazed that He can love me so much.  Amazed at all He created.  Amazed and so in love with Him! 

Who Said My Kids Could Grow????

As you all know, lately I've had the "My babies are going to kindergarten" Blues.  It's hit me kind of hard how quickly they are growing up.  It has made me notice every little detail of their growth lately.

~Who said they could grow so much that they don't need a steppy stool to reach the bathroom sink?

~Who said they could become so independent that they can make their own sandwiches and snacks?

~Who said they could use big words like "phenomenal" and in the right context?

~Who said they could begin reading?
~Who said they could have their own ideas about how to problem solve and do things?
~Who said they could sprout up to look like big kids?!

This Mommy is not happy that they seem to be needing me less and less but I swell with pride when I look at them and see the neat little people they are.  I also realize that there are still plenty of things they do need me for.

~They still need me to remind them to wash their hands before dinner and to pick up their dirty clothes off the floor.

~While they are reading some, they can't read their own bedtime stories yet.  That is my privilege!
~They still need me to lovingly pack their lunchboxes and to be sure they are eating more than just gummies and cookies.
~They still need me to tuck them into bed at night with lots of hugs and kisses.
~They still need me to kiss their boo-boos and put on the band aids. 
~At the end of a long, hard day, they still need my lap to crawl up into and for me to wrap my arms around them and tell them it's all going to be OK. 
I hope these are all things I get to do for a long while.  I know that as they grow, my name will change from Mommy to Mom and they will do some of these for themselves.  The great thing is that they will need me in new ways and that brings me comfort. 

Ode to the Busy Mom

There are mountains of laundry that need done today.

We have clean clothes, but they aren't put away.

The dishes are done, but more are being dirtied.

I wish things in my life weren't so hurried.

The kids are whining, they need that, they need this

I've got tons of deadlines, none of which I can miss.

The kids are going to kindergarten this year

And I have already started with the tears.

Hubby says, "You're gonna cry for the next ten days?

'Till they start? You're gonna make me crazy."

Did I mention that all this has made me sick?

Baby fever it is...and it needs to go away quick!

I've got too much to do and not enough hands

To meet all of this Mommy's demands.

"Help me, Lord!" is all I can pray,

"Please help me to make it through this day,

Without screaming or pulling out my hair.

Help me to be patient with these blessings in my care."

I need more energy, more Diet Coke!

It may sound funny, but that's no joke.

It fuels my body, helps get me in gear.

Now I just need to persevere.

To get it all done, that's the goal,

But there's just too much, am I getting too old?

Focus now, what are the important things?

The beauty that each new day brings,

My children and their sweet, sticky faces,

The fingerprints they leave are just traces

and reminders of how fast they are growing!

I need a pause button, but they just keep going.

I need more time, more time to enjoy

These precious gifts, a girl and a boy.

The pressures and demands will always be.

But my children will grow up and I'll wish I could see,

Those tiny miracles that sat in my lap

For books to be read and kisses and naps.

My new goal for this day is to MAKE the time

To soak in the kisses and hugs without guilt, there's no crime

In taking the time to enjoy God's blessings.

My house is a mess, I am now confessing.

So off I go now to enjoy and to love

My two little blessings sent from Above!