Confessions of a People Pleaser

This week is our church's Vacation Bible School.  I have been working and preparing for months for this very special week.  It's always an exciting time.  It's also a lot of pressure.  I want so badly for things to work as planned.  I want for the children and the volunteers to have a fun and meaningful experience.  Oh, and by the way, I want for people to think that I have done a good job with the planning and execution of it. 

Yesterday morning I was wide awake a little before 4:00.  No matter what I tried, I couldn't get back to sleep.  So I got up and headed down the hall with my kindle.  As I began to quiet my mind and my heart I read the daily word from Jesus Calling.  The first sentence hit me right in the face and penetrated my heart:  Find freedom through seeking to please Me above all else.  It went on to say that when we allow the expectations of others to drive our efforts our energy is "scattered to the winds." 

I am a people pleaser.  I want for everyone to be happy and when people aren't happy, my nature is to lose sleep worrying over how I can fix it.  I have learned though, that I cannot and will not make everyone happy all of the time.  All I can do is the very best I can do, but the most important thing I can do is to honor and please God.  Yesterday morning after my quiet time I got to work making those last minute lists and busying myself to try to cover all of the bases.  When I would feel the "what-ifs" clouding my thoughts and my mood I heard God say to me "Abide in Me."  Could it really be that simple?  Abide in Me.  If I abide in Him, in His love, in His promises, in His truth I have His peace.  Simple?  Yes!  Easy?  No!  But it gave me some perspective and reminded me why I do what I do.  Staying connected to Christ is critical.  It also reminded me of the source of my strength and of my very being. 

I hope that children, volunteers, parents, everyone has a great time this week and that they come away from VBS having had a wonderful experience.  However, the true measure of the success of the week is whether or not God was glorified through our time together and if His kingdom was furthered because of it. 

The first two days of VBS this week have been fun and fruitful.  There were things that happened out of my control that weren't perfect, but they were handled.  At the end of the day, I think the bigger success was that in the midst of the imperfections I found peace and was able to calmly solve the problems. 

The Thing About Sisters

This morning I am thinking about how thankful I am that God gave me a sister.  My sister and I are 20 months apart and although we are very different people, we are extremely close.  The thing about having a sister is that you always have someone there to cheer you on, to root for you. 

Growing up we would fight like crazy, but God help anyone who would mess with one of us because we'd immediately team up against them.  I may or may not have vacuumed over her hair.  In my defense, she was laying on the floor trying to get me in trouble when my dad told me to vacuum our room. 

As teenagers I woke up excited for the day and talking about what would happen at school that day and she would grump that I talked too much.  She isn't exactly an early morning person.  However, get her giggling late at night and she can't stop. 

To this day, she is the one person I like to scheme with.  She's been my Black Friday stay up all night and shop buddy since we were old enough to make our own money and drive and even now she goes with Hubby and I to search out the good deals.  It's much more about the bonding and the experience than it is about the shopping.  She may or may not have accidentally cut a chunk out of my hair recently (paybacks?).  We laughed till we cried and our kids wondered what in the world was wrong with us.  This is nothing new though.  Did I mention that she is the aunt who swoops in to save my kids when they are in trouble with me?  She treats my kids like they were her own and I am so glad they have her for an aunt. 

For the past several months my sister has suffered from debilitating back pain.  She is undergoing surgery this afternoon and I am praying that this will fix the problem.  It has been difficult for her to not be her usual active self with her love of exercise and chasing her 3 boys around.  Today I am praying for steady hands for her doctor and complete healing of her body.  I know that she is going to feel so much better coming out of this and I am looking forward to many more adventures to come.

Long Time No Blog

It's been so long since I have written and posted.  I have started many entries, mostly to sort through my thoughts and feelings.  However, it has been way too long since I have written anything that is worth publishing.  Where does the time go?

We just finished celebrating the twins' 9th birthday.  I can't believe my sweet Prince and Princess are 9 years old!!  If you have read my blog much, you know this is a difficult time for me. I want to celebrate the blessings God has given with two healthy children, but I also struggle with remembering the circumstances of their birth and all we went through to get to this point.  This year was no different.  Hubby and I both struggled as we thought about the life and death stuff we have come through. 

You can read about their birth story Here and the follow up Here. 

We've come a long way, Baby!

 

Earlier this week I was talking to a friend who has had a difficult time lately with some health issues he has been facing.  He said that he has been struggling and asking God why and then he feels guilty because of the long life and the blessings God has already given Him.  This resonated with me because I have felt the same way.  I know I should be thankful for what I have.  I know that God has worked things out for His good and His greater purpose.  I know that I must sound like the spoiled little kid who wants things her way and wants them to come without a price.  I still struggle, but I would like to think that as I wrestle with the questions, I am growing through it.  God is big enough to handle my questions and I may never understand why, but when I ask those questions I like to think that God is drawing me closer to Him and asking me to just trust Him.   

 



I look forward to the day that July 14th comes and I am fully in the present and the promise that the future holds, not dwelling on hurts from the past.  However, it is from the past that I have learned what it truly means to trust in God's perfect plan. 

These miracles are truly a gift from God and they teach me so much about my relationship with God and who I want to be when I grow up