Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

Psalm 139:13-16 "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there were none of them."

God has a plan for all of us. His plan for us began before creation. What an amazing thought! This week is always a difficult one for me, met with mixed emotions. My precious twins will turn 6 tomorrow. Six years ago we weren't sure what God's plan for these miracle babies were. I will share their birth story tomorrow, but let me give you a little bit of background today.

Hubby and I were not "trying" to have a baby. You see, we are big planners and we like to have all of the details and bugs worked out of things before we commit to doing anything. Yes, we are control freaks, and for every Plan A, there is also a B,C,D...just in case. So we decided we would pray about having a baby and "be open to the possibility" of having a baby. This essentially meant that I would go off of the pill and it would all happen in God's time. We thought God's time might be within a year or so. God laughed. In my mind I see it not as one of those little chuckles, like when your kids do something cute, but I think it was one of those big ol' belly laughs. I can imagine that He probably said something like, "I'll show them what happens when they try to plan it all out on their own and then leave it up to Me." Two months later we were at my parents' house for Christmas and I went to visit my dear prayer partner, Jody. She asked if I was pregnant and I told her I was certain that I wasn't. I couldn't be yet! She was certain I was and told me to call her when I found out. The next morning was Hubby's birthday and I took not one, but two pregnancy tests that turned positive immediately. About 3 weeks later at our first ultrasound, we were shocked to find out there were two babies on the way! I went so far as to tell Hubby not to believe a word our jokester doctor was saying. The doctor finally got my attention and showed me both of those little heartbeats. We spent my entire pregnancy saying, "what are we going to do with 2 babies?!" One of the most exciting things throughout was that I got weekly sonograms and I couldn't wait to see my little jellybeans every week as they would grow and change. Hubby and I couldn't wait for our Tuesday appointments to see the babies.

Things were going along quite well for us and at 33 weeks we thought I would still have several more weeks before our babies made their appearance.

This picture was taken when I was about 23 weeks along...one month before the twins were born.

I Heart My Hubby

Today was an interesting day. For one thing, my dear sister put acrylic fingernails on me and I am struggling to type because I haven't had nails like this since my wedding 8 years ago. I thought I would give them a go. I think I'm going to like them (at least for a while) but it is a bit to get used to when trying to type or do anything really that involves using my fingers. Holla, sis! I'm trying to use a new word. The Lumberjack's Wife uses the word Holla a lot and while I understand its meaning, I'm not very good at using it in context. So I thought I would give it a try. Everyone go say, "Holla!" to The Lumberjack's Wife here. She is one of my favorite bloggers and she provides me with a daily dose of laughter. I heart The Lumberjack's Wife. Her blog makes my day.

So this afternoon I was logging onto my facebook page to send a message when I notice my status says, "I love my husband sooooo much! He's the BEST," and people are starting to comment on it. Interesting...I don't remember posting that as my status. Wait a minute, I didn't post that as my status. Not that it isn't true, because I do love my hubby very much and I do think he's pretty much all that and a bowl of grits, but I didn't write that. Then I notice that my dear hubby "likes" this status and has begun to comment along with my friend. I could not stop laughing. I was the last one logged into facebook on Hubby's i-phone so when he went onto facebook this morning he was logged in as me and decided I needed a new status.

How could I not love this handsome man?

Tonight as I was writing this blog, I got an instant message across on my computer from...hubby. He was sitting across the room from me and decided to send me a message. He's so goofy...but he makes me laugh. He was making fun of all of the clicking from my new fingernails typing on the computer. He was also trying to give me blogging ideas, one of which I'll probably work on for tomorrow. One of my favorite things about my hubby is that he is fun to be with and he makes me laugh. Laughter is great medicine and I have needed a giant dose of it lately. Sometimes I think I take life too seriously and I need to stop and loosen up a bit. I'm reminded of that old Gaither song, "Kids under construction, maybe the paint is still wet. Kids under construction, the Lord's just not through with me yet." Thank goodness God isn't through with me yet. Life's too short to be so uptight and such a control freak all the time. This is why I am so thankful that God sent me a partner with the gift of humor. He knows how to make me laugh. I would like to end tonight's blog by saying on my own, "I love my husband soooo much! He's the BEST."

Closing the Preschool Chapter ~ Bittersweet Endings

Tonight my sweet twins will graduate from preschool. This is a bittersweet occasion for me. I know they are ready to go to kindergarten, but I am not ready for them to grow up and be in the world of "big school." I have had the best of situations, as I am the director at their preschool. I began work when they started school, so we've always just gone together and then we come home together and have the afternoons to play and spend time together. I know that most people don't have the opportunity to be so involved with their children's school experience. They aren't able to be there for every first their child has, but I have had that and now the chapter is coming to an end. I won't be able just to peek in, or grab a hug when they are in the hall going to the playground, not to mention that kindergarten will be a full day. The prince and princess have come so far since they first began school. *Sigh*

The prince was an escape artist and would take every opportunity to escape from his class and run down the hall to my office. During the first couple of weeks of school he fell out of his chair and busted his head open, needing stitches. His poor teacher had to come tell me what had happened and that he needed to go to the hospital. I also thought he'd never potty train, and then one day he just did. Just as of this year, his teacher took measurements from August to May. The kid has grown 4 1/2 inches and gained 16 pounds! 16 pounds, people! He eats me out of house and home.

The princess has grown in other ways. She has finally realized that there is more to life than being super cute (which she still is) but that there is value in being smart as well. She finally discovered that she can be smart, social, and beautiful all at the same time. She has made some great friends and one of her little friends will be at the same school next year so I'm hoping maybe they'll be in the same class. The princess' favorite phrases for her teachers and really anyone else who will listen are "Can I tell you something?" and "Ya know what?" She must ask her teacher those questions 20 times a day and she's only there for 3 hours. It's become a joke between us now. The princess has truly matured since she first started school. She is full of information that she's learned about history, animals, rhyming words, etc. and because she is so verbal, she shares with everyone. I remember when they learned about Abraham Lincoln's assasination, you would have thought it just happened.

The great thing about tonight is that I am the director and I get to graduate my own kids. The hard thing about tonight is that I am the director and I have to graduate my own kids. While all the other moms can have their own little moment of tears out in the congregation, I will be in front of everyone running the show so it's a luxury I don't have. I just hope I can hold it all together. For those of you reading this and thinking, what's the big deal it's only preschool? I know, I know. It's only preschool. It's just that it is a milestone that means that I no longer have preschoolers and I now have kids. It also means that this control freak will lose a little more of that control over who my kids are around, what they hear, what they are exposed to, etc. It means that I am going to have to give all of this up to God and trust that He will protect my children physically, as well as their little hearts and minds from things they shouldn't hear and know. It's a part of life and I know that there will be many more milestones that I have to look forward to. When one chapter ends, another begins and I am looking forward to the days ahead and all they hold: raising and growing strong,healthy, godly kids.

Be Still my Soul

Have you ever read the children's book "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day?" Well that was my week last week and I found myself multiple times saying under my breath, "I think I'll move to Australia." If you are unfamiliar with the story, Alexander says that when everything that could go wrong in his kid world, did. I have spent quite a bit of time in quiet reflection and prayer this weekend, trying to regain my peace and calm and I was reminded of a few things:
1. I always say that I have given things over to God, but darned if I don't just take them right back to wallow and worry over them.
2. When I go before God and ask Him to take care of things, I don't give Him time to work them out. I want immediate results.
3. I spend a lot of time worrying about things I can't control.
4. I don't spend enough quiet time listening for God.




I have been to the beach twice in the last few days, trying to get quiet and think. It is so relaxing to sit and wiggle my toes through the sand, listening to the waves. I love that I live 10 minutes from the beach! We just pack a cooler and off we go! God has created so many beautiful things for me to enjoy and to remind me of His awesome power and attention to detail. Think of all of those tiny grains of sand. He put each one there for a purpose. Being at the beach allows me to clear my head and think...such wonderful therapy for me.

Then this morning, God spoke to me. It began in the quiet of the house as I was reading a blog about leaving things at the throne of God. The music on the page was "Be Still My Soul." As it kept playing, I began to relax and listen to the words...Be still, my soul: the Lord is on your side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
leave to your God to order and provide;
in every change God faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: your best, your heavenly friend
through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
I thought about Psalm 46 "Be still and know that I am God." God has used this verse so many times to reassure me that I don't need to spend so much time in fret and worry. If I am constantly trying to manipulate the circumstances, I'm not relying on God. I need to BE STILL. So hard for a Control Freak like me!

So with that on my mind, I went to church. Guess what we sang today..."Be Still, My Soul the Lord is on your side." Today's sermon really spoke to me, it was one of those where I felt like it was written just for me. Don't you love it when God does cool stuff like that? And I was reminded that I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me. So with that, I have renewed determination to let God work things out and to stop getting in the way of it all.

At lunch today, the princess said our blessing and afterward she said, "And God, please help Mommy to have a good week this week and to not be stressed." At the very least, I owe it to her and the prince to have more faith that God is in control and to let it all go.

On a happy note, two of my favorite people celebrated their 62nd wedding anniversary yesterday. I have learned a lot from these dear friends about what marriage is like. I remember when I was much younger, riding in the car with them, I was in the backseat and they were up front holding hands. My friend turned around to me and she said, "When you get married, make sure you marry your best friend." I have never forgotten that and it is exactly what I did. So Happy Anniversary to my dear friends! I love you so much and am blessed to have you in my life!

Shells, Kindergarten Round-up and Kids growing up

Lately I feel like the guy at the circus, trying to spin the plates and keep them all in the air. I’m not sure how successful I am, I feel like I might have almost dropped a few of them, but I am making it. Have you ever tried to be everything to everyone and have all of these things going on only to realize that you aren’t doing any of them well? That’s how I feel.

In Sunday School a few weeks ago we watched a video where the guy said that sometimes the enemy of the best is not bad, it’s all the good you are doing. You try to do so many good things, that you can’t get to God’s best for you because the good gets in the way. He went on to talk about how they were at the beach and his son had small bits of shells in his hands and he really liked them, but he saw a beautiful starfish that he went to pick up and he couldn’t get it because his hands were full of these small pieces of shells. The boy wouldn’t put the shells down in order to get the starfish. I can really identify with that image. I guess the question is, how do you determine which of these things are the good getting in the way and which of these things can help lead you to God’s best? Then there are all of these things that I would love to do, but just can’t get to. I’m praying for discernment and for God to help me sort all of this out.

In other news, the twins are growing up entirely too fast. Tonight was kindergarten round-up. I can’t believe they will be in kindergarten next year! Where has the time gone?! I have been so blessed to have them at our church preschool, where I am the director. Next year they will be in a different place and while I know they will be looked after, I am sad that they will no longer be with me. This is hard for a control freak like myself. I feel that control slipping away and my fear is that it is going to be like a landslide and all come out from under my feet. Now I know where they are, who they are playing with, the things they are exposed to. I am pleased though with the whole kindergarten team at their new school. They are a group of Christian ladies that I know will take good care of my babies. I know them because I used to teach with them and I love that they are going to have my children. It’s just a sad time for me that my babies are growing up.

Tonight as we left kindergarten round-up the prince looked up at the clouds and noticed the sun shining through them and it was a beautiful picture. He said, “Look Mom, God is smiling down on us.” I like that image…God looking down and smiling at his children, pleased with who we are and what we are doing. I hope He's smiling down on me, anyway.

Random Thoughts ~ Episode 1

Yesterday morning I was awakened by the awesome rumbling produced during a space shuttle launch. I ran out the front door in time to witness the bright light of the most beautiful shuttle launch at sunrise. It makes me appreciate the opportunities I have had, growing up as a Booster Brat on the Space Coast. It also reminds me of how much I am going to miss these beautiful shuttle launches when the shuttle program is retired. My little prince says he wants to be an astronaut and ride on the shuttle when he grows up. I don't have the heart to tell him that the shuttle won't be around then. At five, I want him to dream big and he loves all things space related. I am hopeful that by the time he grows up, if he truly wants to be an astronaut, we'll have another launch vehicle.

Also, yesterday was the first day back to work from Spring Break. While we were on break, a couple of my teachers decided they needed to pull an April Fool's prank on me. I returned to work to find the contents of my desktop packed into a cardboard box. I feel loved AND I am plotting revenge for when they least expect it.


I am loving the beautiful spring weather we have been having. It makes me want to do spring cleaning! I have a huge plan built up in my brain of all the things I want to accomplish but finding the time to do it all is problematic. So I am going to make lists...lots and lots of lists and cross those things off, big and small as they are done. This will at least help me to feel like I have things in hand. That perception of having things in control...it's a great feeling, especially for a control freak like myself.