Lately I feel like the guy at the circus, trying to spin the plates and keep them all in the air. I’m not sure how successful I am, I feel like I might have almost dropped a few of them, but I am making it. Have you ever tried to be everything to everyone and have all of these things going on only to realize that you aren’t doing any of them well? That’s how I feel.
In Sunday School a few weeks ago we watched a video where the guy said that sometimes the enemy of the best is not bad, it’s all the good you are doing. You try to do so many good things, that you can’t get to God’s best for you because the good gets in the way. He went on to talk about how they were at the beach and his son had small bits of shells in his hands and he really liked them, but he saw a beautiful starfish that he went to pick up and he couldn’t get it because his hands were full of these small pieces of shells. The boy wouldn’t put the shells down in order to get the starfish. I can really identify with that image. I guess the question is, how do you determine which of these things are the good getting in the way and which of these things can help lead you to God’s best? Then there are all of these things that I would love to do, but just can’t get to. I’m praying for discernment and for God to help me sort all of this out.
In other news, the twins are growing up entirely too fast. Tonight was kindergarten round-up. I can’t believe they will be in kindergarten next year! Where has the time gone?! I have been so blessed to have them at our church preschool, where I am the director. Next year they will be in a different place and while I know they will be looked after, I am sad that they will no longer be with me. This is hard for a control freak like myself. I feel that control slipping away and my fear is that it is going to be like a landslide and all come out from under my feet. Now I know where they are, who they are playing with, the things they are exposed to. I am pleased though with the whole kindergarten team at their new school. They are a group of Christian ladies that I know will take good care of my babies. I know them because I used to teach with them and I love that they are going to have my children. It’s just a sad time for me that my babies are growing up.
Tonight as we left kindergarten round-up the prince looked up at the clouds and noticed the sun shining through them and it was a beautiful picture. He said, “Look Mom, God is smiling down on us.” I like that image…God looking down and smiling at his children, pleased with who we are and what we are doing. I hope He's smiling down on me, anyway.