This morning as I turned on my computer, I was greeted by a new blog post from The Lumberjack's Wife. Please go say hi to Taylor and read her post "Prone to Wander." She usually makes me laugh with her life out in Ruralville, but today she gave me comfort. Comfort because I realized that I am not alone with my feelings of inadequacy. I often feel bad for losing patience with Prince and Princess. I get frustrated when I have to tell them to pick up their dirty clothes off the floor 52 times. I wonder if anyone is listening to me when I say "clean your room," or "get dressed for school," and no one does it. I feel like a broken record and then I lose my cool and yell. (Mom, if you're reading this, I have just had flashbacks to my childhood when you and Dad said you felt like a broken record. Sorry about that!)
But Taylor reminded me today that perhaps I need an attitude adjustment. She quoted a verse from the hymn "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing," one that I know well but seem to forget
O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let that grace now like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.
Taylor reminded me that we all are prone to wander. I wander every day from the way God wants me to go. I don't do things perfectly, I get off track and don't do the things I should, or I speak harshly to others (my children or Hubby). Wow, how can I expect so much more from these little people when I can't do it myself and more importantly, if God gives me so much grace on a daily basis, don't I owe at least that much grace to my children?
Today my prayer is this:
Dear Abba, my Daddy God,
Thank you for the grace you give me on a daily, yes even hourly basis. Thank you for not losing patience with me and for not giving up on me, your child who messes things up constantly. I know that I can't do anything apart from You. Please help me to be the mom You want me to be, extending grace to them when they don't get it right. Help me to remember that Prince and Princess are gifts from You and that they are still learning and growing too. Thank you for entrusting Hubby and me with these precious gifts from You and please help us to always remember they are Yours.