Thursday, February 10, 2011

What Language Do You Speak?

Have you ever read Gary Chapman's book "The Five Love Languages?"  In it, he talks about the way we give and want to receive love.  Those are our love languages.  The 5 love languages are: Quality Time, Physical Touch, Words of Encouragement, Acts of Service, and Giving Gifts.  The idea behind the study is to figure out what people's love languages are so that you can better understand how they perceive love.  It helps you to speak their love language.  Hubby and I did this study in Sunday School when we were first married and I have facilitated "The Five Love Languages of Children" for our preschool parents.  It is so interesting to think about what makes our loved ones tick.

My children are so different. 

Prince's primary love language is Physical Touch with Words of Encouragement coming in a close 2nd.  He loves to snuggle up and be cuddled and he wants me to sing his song to him.  It's the same song I've sung to since they were in my tummy.  I sang it in the NICU, during those long nights when he was up doing breathing treatments, any time anything uncomfortable would happen, I would sing his song.  It's to the tune of "We love you Conrad" from Bye Bye, Birdie and it's such a simple little song, but he still loves it to this day.  "I love you ______, oh yes I do, I love you ________, oh yes I do, I love you ________, I do, Oh _________ I love you."  That's all there is to it, but as soon as I start to sing it, he calms right down.  Prince is an encourager of others.  He loves to tell people they are smart or beautiful.  He is a master at paying someone the ultimate well-placed compliment and making them feel good. 

Princess on the other hand, is a Quality Time kind of girl.  She just wants you to sit with her or play with her or just be in the room with her.  She is constantly saying,  "Spend time with me."  She is happy just having you with her.  She shows love by giving people gifts.  She is constantly wrapping up little trinkets to give to people and wants to take presents to her friends at school.  She colors pictures for people.  Many a time she has gone into our bedroom and wrapped a present for Hubby or I that is something we already own.  She says, "I knew you'd like this and I'll bet you even forgot you own this!"  She is such a giving child, with a heart so big.  She just wants to please.

I would have to say that my primary love language is Quality Time.  Hubby and I do most everything together and I love that.  Behind that, I'd say Words of Encouragement and Physical Touch.  There's nothing like those love letters Hubby used to write me or the way he tells me he's proud of all I do for us.  And those kisses still fog up my glasses!  I also have to say that there's nothing sexier than seeing Hubby do the dishes when I haven't even asked him for help!  I do like it when Hubby surprises me with a small gift, but it's because of the thought he puts into it and into knowing what I like and need.  We all have a bit of all of these languages in our relationships, but everyone seems to have one or two primary languages. 
Hubby's primary language is Quality Time with Words of Encouragement right behind.  Funny how that worked out that we are so much alike in how we like to give and receive love.  I guess it's a good thing we "speak the same language."
If you would like to know what love language you speak, there are several online tests you can take if you google "5 Love Languages Assessment."  Here's one that I found:
I just went through it to be sure of accuracy and how it works.  It says for you to put your email address in and they will email you a profile.  I chose to skip that step and it still works.
Perhaps finding out what your spouse's love language is will help give ideas for Valentine's Day coming up on Monday! 


  1. Wow... your Prince and Princess are so much like my C1 and C2, which shouldn't be surprising b/c as I read your wonderful posts, I find that you and I are quite alike as well =) Thanks for the link, tight resources this month, and I've been trying to think of something I can do/make for hubby on Valentine's. Now I have 2 great ideas... pink mashed potatoes and a personalized Love language letter =) Thanks for your friendship and encouragement!

  2. So glad I was able to help! You and I are A LOT alike! and I love your kids...they are so sweet. And...I love you too, girlie!

  3. Aww, that made my day, and I needed it for sure! Thanks, Love you and yours 2 :o)